10. “If my child gets dirty before guests come, I’ll change my child’s clothes.”
This feature isn’t about neatness, it’s about mom’s intention to be the perfect mother. Your actions and thoughts are only focused on people’s attitudes — you want them to see that you devote yourself to motherhood. People express their excitement and you’re happy, but if they don’t, you feel remorseful.
9. “If my child can’t do anything on their own, I’ll always help.”
You think that if other kids are able to do this or that, that your child can also do it. But you don’t take into consideration that your child is an individual with their own abilities and desires. If your child fails to do something, you start reproaching them or yourself.
This behavior may lead to a decrease in their academic performance. If you realize that all people are different and being the best at everything doesn’t make anyone happy, your child’s and your own life will be easier.
8. “When my child has free time, I worry and try to find a task for them.”
You’re the type of parent that tries to keep your child busy just to keep them by your side. You don’t believe that they are able to make any decisions on their own without your input or that anyone but youmight know what’s best for them. These kids have so many lessons, obligations, and hobbies that they don’t have a free second for themselves. They’ve never experienced a taste of independence and can’t explore any interests of their own.
When these children grow up, they’re unable to take responsibility, and don’t know what to do with their lives.
7. “If my child goes somewhere with friends, I plan their activities.”
As soon as your child gets older, they find friends. When they’re to go for a walk or to the mall, you make a plan of what to do and where to go. You get all the phone numbers and addresses of your kid’s friends and their relatives.
This behavior may lead to bullying at school and it deprives a child of their independence because they always listen to their mother and can’t make decisions on their own.
6. “When my child feels sad, I think that it’s my fault.”
You completely forget about your own life. You’re constantly stressed and annoyed. If you buy something for yourself, you feel guilty.
When your child gets older, you try to protect them from sad thoughts and sympathize with them too much if something goes wrong. To be a healthy person, an individual should experience the full range of emotions and feelings and know how to cope with the negative ones.
5. “If my child wants to do rope courses with their class, I’ll forbid it.”
Every idea wakes up your inner drama queen. You probably used to forbid your child from swingingon the swing because it was too dangerous. Right?
You try to make their life predictable but you can’t predict everything. By the way, this world isn’t that terrible. So is there any need to worry so much?
4. “If my teenage child wants to earn some money during the holidays, I’ll find them a job.”
To protect your child from unfair employers, you decide to find a safe job for them. You don’t take into consideration their desires, so their ability to make decisions, choose between different options, assess risks, and other useful skills don’t develop. It’s really difficult to be an adult without these qualities.
3. “Parents should protect their children from any risks.”
Your child’s schedule is always strict and if something goes wrong, you experience stress. Your kid is pretty isolated from their classmates and other people. By the way, this parental behavior can cause serious hysteria.
2. “I check everything my child’s friends recommend for them to read, watch, and listen to.”
You’re kind of a spy and that’s not good. You and your child can only be happy if you trust each other. It’s more crucial to teach your child how to behave on social media than controlling their internet accounts.
1. “When my child comes home from school, I breathe a sigh of relief.”
You smile and look happy when your child comes home, but in fact, you hide your anxiety. You start helping your kid and doing simple things for them: you wash their clothes, clean their room, choose a date for their job interview, and so on. As a result, when your child grows up there are 2 scenarios: They can’t make decisions on their own or they argue with you as they try to be independent.
If you “scored” only 1 or 2 points, you’re fine. If you “scored” more, it’s time to think about your attitude toward your kids since parental anxiety contributes to vulnerability in their children. There’s a risk that your child will always experience a fear of the future and other psychological issues that don’t allow a person to develop.
Don’t overprotect your child, it’s better to support them, and let them make their own decisions so they can understand that the world is interesting and an amazing place to explore.
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